Burning Cold
by Kvetching Canoodle
Summary: Just because completing these tasks is necessary doesn't mean any of them have to like it. With Cas gone again, Kevin Tran cracking, and Sam heading back into Hell, Dean and Meg find themselves in the unique position of mutually worrying about the same things.


Sequel to "Stuffed Unicorns and Walls of Moose," written by request. Reminder that Sam worked with Meg to get Dean and Cas out of Purgatory and is still slightly nuts.

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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"Burning Cold"

"Please."

Sam doesn't specify what for because he doesn't need to. On his right in Dean, eyes cast to the floor and Kevin's standing a little behind them, exhausted. About a week earlier, Cas went MIA again. And now, as if this situation couldn't get any more screwed up (and she's barely been _not _demon for a little over a year so she knows exactly what that is), the other three in the room are looking to her for answers so she can throw Lucifer's baby back into Hell. Which she has to because shutting the Gates mean shutting out Crowley and all the other demons getting stuck down there but doesn't include her is just an added bonus.

As she answers, "We find a rogue reaper. They're called coyotes. I don't know how it works or what the route is, so don't ask," she seriously wishes her conscience hadn't made a sudden reappearance.

For a moment, no one says anything. Sam's chest does that little flutter thing that means he's in pain, which isn't making this any easier, and his brother makes a sound that sucks on about the same level before asking, "So, how do we find one?"

She shrugs. Sam wipes the corner of his mouth, a motion that doesn't go unnoticed by anyone. "I don't know," she says. "Shit like that is a crossroad demon's shtick. I was a little too high ranking for that." Until the Winchesters threw Satan back in the Cage and she snuggled up into their awkward dynamic because of a crush on an angel who's sweet on a hunter. For not the first time, it hits her exactly how much her life has changed over the past few years.

Then she thinks of those stupid fucking unicorns and tells her mind to shut up.

"Well," Dean says, lacking any and all enthusiasm, "looks like we have to go catch ourselves a demon."

And no matter how hard she tries, she really can't figure out how to connect Point A to Point B.

.

Dean's protesting, saying that he's not in the best shape and this is _Bobby_ all with the underlining meaning of _you're still nuts and sick and going back down there won't help_. Sure, he's not exactly happy with this and the flashback the two of them had to snap him out of yesterday mixed with the fever he has right now basically proves his brother's point, but that doesn't mean he's backing out. Sam was never able to save him when he went to Hell but now he has a chance to save Bobby and he refuses to pass this up.

Before a full blown argument can break out, Meg cuts in, "The innocent soul area or whatever you want to call it is huge, but he hasn't been there all that long so he shouldn't be too far down the row." Both fall silent, turning their attention to her. "The cells - well, they aren't meant to open at anyone's touch except a demon's or a reaper's but it shouldn't be locked for you."

Honestly, he isn't sure if this is good news or bad news. Good news because it means this won't be so hard, but bad news because he tries his hardest not to think about his blood and the whole Boy King thing that means half of Hell's residents thought for years that he was going to go in anyway. It takes a lot of effort not to fidget. "Right, thanks," he answers, before he pushes past the two of them because seeing his brother's face right now will kill his resolve. "I'm in. Just me."

Ajay eyes him warily, either because he's a Winchester or because he thinks he's nuts. Sam's gotten similar reactions for either reason. "Follow me," he says, tucking his hands in his pockets but before he can do anything more, Dean puts himself between the two of them.

"Wait," he says, protective older brother mode on full strength, "how does this thing work?"

"Not the fret," the reaper says, glancing between the two of them before jumping to Meg who stands at his side. "He'll be back in twenty-four hours time. Return for him then."

Then he gives a little nod at Sam, who tries to focus on Ajay or the ground as he follows. Neither of them like it and he doesn't like it either, but Meg pretty much just confirmed he's the only one who can do this. Apparently his blood is good for one thing. The same blood that he'll hopefully manage not to cough up until the end of this. So far his record is ninety-four hours.

They end up in an alley covered in graffiti, facing a painted on blue door that vaguely reminds him of this British TV show Dean watched when his leg was broken and the Spanish soap opera wasn't on. "Take my hand," Ajay says, holding it out to him.

Though unnerved, he listens. "And it keeps getting creepier," he says more to himself than to the reaper. The hand in his is cold and dry, not at all Tessa's. He gets a sudden flash of Lucifer's fingers pressing into his stomach and almost jumps away.

Even before the graffiti starts more, he knows he's fucked.

.

He hasn't even been away from Garth's houseboat thing for twelve hours and the demon proofing has already doubled. By this point he's used to Meg bypassing all wards, which cuts off another thing to be unsettled by. Kevin disappears back into the carefully guarded closet after coming back with the information that he _just hid the goddamn demon tablet_, leaving him along with an ex-demon who he's pretty sure still has the hots for his...well, for his Cas. Or his brother. As if the silent, mutually-anxious-over-Sammy car ride and pie-less burger sharing fest earlier hadn't been bad enough.

The awkward tension lasts all of three seconds. Nothing better than a woman in a business suit appearing out of nowhere to break it up.

"Kids," she says as Kevin runs into his closet, causing he and Meg to turn around so fast her hair whacks into his upper arm, "so cute when they're little. But then they turn into teenagers and the party's over." She takes a step forward. "We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Naomi."

He backs up, away from her outstretched hand. "Oh, I know who you are," he says. "And I know what you did to Cas after he got out of Purgatory."

"After I rescued him from Purgatory, you mean." He immediately gets in image of Cas letting go of his hand and _it's not your responsibility to save everyone, Dean_. "At the cost of many angels' lives."

"You screwed with his head and had him _spy _on us."

It takes an effort, but he squashes down all of the stupid warm and fuzzies of the last few months because if she doesn't know Cas' met with them more than once, the other angels will be able to find him.

Naomi says, "Well, it is true that I've spoken to Castiel many times - trying to reach out to him, trying to help him -"

"Interesting definition of helping someone, toying with their minds," Meg says, tense next to him and he'd forgotten that she was there. "Because, you know, that's nothing at all like Hell."

To his surprise, Naomi just smiles warmly at her. "It's good to see you back with us," she says. "Are you feeling all right now?"

Dean moves without really thinking about, slightly adjusting his position enough that he's between her and Bitch in a Business Suit. Meg's probably pissed at the moment for trying to protect her or whatever he's doing but he doesn't care. The angel's expression tightens before she continues, "I have no intention to harm any of you - and especially Castiel. He's been unstable in the past, but I was shocked by how damaged he is now."

"Stop, okay? Don't try to spin this," he tells her. "You think I don't know that you told him to try to kill me?"

She sighs. "Yes, I suppose that is how he would hear it," she answers and holy fuck, does she think he's really that dense? "When I heard of the angel tablet, I did tell Castiel to get it at _any _cost. That's my job. To protect Heaven. I'm a warrior, just as all of you. What would you expect? And now Castiel is in wind with a hydrogen bomb in his pocket and I - I'm scared. For all of us."

Now it takes close to no effort at all to close off the part where that isn't true and he just hopes Meg's managed to do the same. Probably, considering that demon or not, she's got almost two thousand of years of learning self restraint on him. "Save it," he says. "See, I don't trust angels, which means I don't trust you."

"And yet you haven't warded this place against us." Her gaze focuses back on Meg. "It's not for you, as there's not enough angel within you to make a ward effective. So, I know, you're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way."

His mind comes to a straight halt. For a moment, he forgets how to breathe before he remembers she gets her kicks fooling around with people's minds. It gets easier after that, though this also means she's got at least an idea about their, well, thing considering the way she worded that, but he'll think about it later.

And Naomi just keeps going. "I know you don't want to believe it, but we're on the same side. Shutting the Gates of Hell. Bringing Castiel in from the cold. Take a moment, think about what I've said." She goes to step away but stops before adding, "Oh, I know you've been doing business with Ajay. He did mention, didn't he, that his way into Hell is through Purgatory?"

"_What?_" Dean turns, looking down in slight surprised at an incredibly pissed off Meg. "Through Purgatory? You mean all that time searching and we could've justgrabbed a coyote - Hey, don't look at me like that. I might not be a demon anymore, but I'm not on your side either."

Again, Naomi just sort of smiles, looking and forth between the two of them. "I knew you'd want to know. You see, we _can_ be of help to each other," she says and disappears with the traditional flap of wings.

"If that bitch knows, then Crowley knows," Meg says, "which means that bastard's killed the reaper by now."

"Wait - seriously?"

"You think I don't know Hell anymore?" she snaps. "Now let's just get the fuck out of here before our moose gets himself killed in either of those places."

_Our moose_.

As inappropriate as it is for a given situation, he can't help but think of how mortified Sam would be if he heard that.

.

Purgatory - well, Purgatory was bad for more reasons than just having to go through it, but Hell is a thousand times worse.

There are prisoners everywhere, all leaning to the edges of their prisons and Sam knows that all he has to do is touch the lock and they're free, but he can't do that. They're all broken, twisted and he keeps seeing Lucifer out of the corner of his eye, keeps having to remind himself that he's in the Cage, not in this part of Hell so he's - well, Sam's not safe but he doesn't have the devil on his shoulder either.

Maybe. Actually, he isn't really sure about that one. Death pulled him out and maybe that caused a rip, maybe Lucifer was able to get out and Michael and Adam who's hopefully still getting protected so that he doesn't have to go through - and oh God, Sam just wants to get out of here because on Earth he has Dean and Dean makes everything better. He tries to remember Stone Number One but this _is _Hell, not some flashback or hallucination where the pain is different and Dean can hug him and oh God, oh God, oh -

By the time he finds Bobby, he's nearly in tears. The man's back is to him, but he turns once Sam gets the bars open, opened just as easily as his bedroom door and _fuck _that's not a comparison he wanted to make and no, no, _no _he's _not _going to stay on the couch for a week because he can't stop - but, Bobby, and Bobby's here and maybe it's even really him. Everywhere around is so damn hot because it's Hell but there's a temperature drop behind him and he has to resist the urge to look behind him because Lucifer is just so _cold._

The sudden fist in his face is enough to somewhat snap him out of it.

"Get the hell out of here, you black-eyed son of a bitch!"

"What?" Sam answers before there's that familiar voice in his ear whispering that the best torture isn't always physical and don't you remember that, bunk buddy? He forces himself to focus on Bobby, not the voice that may or may not be a hallucination. "Bobby, it's Sam!"

But that doesn't do anything. At least it's not like he was expecting it to work. "Yeah, and I'm Elvis. Move your ass!"

Okay, okay, okay, he needs something to convince Bobby that he's real but then he needs something that demons can't do and fuck, it's so, _so _cold now. Lucifer must be here. He must really be here. But, no, he isn't getting hurt yet and maybe if he gets out the devil won't follow him so he needs to get Bobby to understand.

"Get -"

"It's me!" He thinks fast, trying to flip through every sliver of non-depressing information he has. "Okay," he repeats before remembering that he hasn't actually said it out loud yet so it can't really be considered repeating. "If it's not Sam, then how do I know about you and Tori Spelling?"

"What?"

"You're a fan. Yeah." He pauses, thinking of something else before the most embarrassing piece of information he can think of clicks and he forgot that Lucifer can read minds because he laughs and how isn't Bobby reacting to any of this? "Or - or, uh, okay, what about your free pedicure at the Mall of America? You made Dean swear to never tell another living soul how it changed your life."

Now, next to him and it's getting harder and harder not to look, Lucifer says, "A plus for you, Sammy!"

Bobby's face crumbles with relief as he walks over and gives Sam a tight hug. He's suddenly confronted by how old the man looks but that doesn't stop him gripping right back. How confining it is makes him aware of how much his chest hurts again, but he'll worry about that later. "Sorry, Sam," Bobby says, backing up, giving him some breathing room. "It's just that you're the two hundredth Sam I've seen today. That's how they screw with me, just endless Sams and Deans all wearing the same black eyes."

Lucifer's fingers walk up his spine, burning cold through his jacket. "Remember how many times a day he and Dean used to kill you?"

"Wait a minute," Bobby says and Sam could almost melt in relief of not having to listen to anymore of that specific _remember how_. "What the hell are you doing here? Please don't tell me this is what I think it is."

What? he wants to ask. You mean did I kill myself? But he doesn't because he isn't even sure if that thought is his own so instead he says, "No, no, Bobby I'm good. I'm here to get you. You don't belong here, Bobby."

"But you do, Sammy." The fingers reach his neck and change course, running through his hair. "You saw how easy this little stroll was."

He pulls the knife from his inside pocket, not bothering to turn around because this doesn't work on angels and he had wings on his back once, wide and heavy. Bobby gives a smile that must be foreign by now and accepts the blade. He sees Lucifer out of the corner of his eye, there and definitely solid and _how the fuck is he the only one freaking out?_ Unless this is a hallucination which it might be but this is really, actually Hell and he's just so cold.

He turns around and Bobby follows, the bars still open behind them.

.

The vampire who got Dean out because neither she nor Sam got the memo about reapers being able to go to Purgatory is dead and she's sitting shotgun next to an incredibly depressed a Winchester. They both tried getting a hold of Cas, but so far he hasn't made an appearance.

She expects more silence from here to Maine but about an hour in Dean asks, "So how much do you think this'll set him back, Meg?"

"A lot," she answers, watching the fields turn into forest. "Hell's not fun, but you know that."

He tenses, but has no other reaction. "I have to know," he says instead. "How bad was he before I got back? He kept playing it off like it was just flashbacks but you're too good at snapping him out of it for it to've been that simple."

When she thinks about it, she still isn't sure how she ended up the one taking care of the wreck that was Sam Winchester without his brother. And she knew how screwed up their relationship is after she spent some time rattling around in his noodle. She also isn't sure how it escalated from "mutually assured destruction" as he put it to sticking pictures of moose all over his wall to make him feel better.

"After you and Cas went _poof_, he started hallucinating again, but he was sleeping," she says. "He always knew what was real. By the time Crowley decided I'd make a good playdate he was about what he is now. So, there's a pretty good chance that taking a little vacation through Hell is enough to make Lucifer come back all cute and cuddly again."

Back during the Apocalypse when she was all bad instead of fighting for the moral side, she'd known Lucifer. Things have changed enough that she doesn't even like thinking about the two of them in the same sentence. "Awesome," Dean says, carding his fingers through his short hair. "Physical and mental degeneration together."

"All wrapped up in a neat little package." He glances at her. "What? I took care of the kid too."

He adjusts himself, looking uncomfortable. "Yeah, Meg, about that," he says, "I never really -"

"If you're about to thank me, shut it," she says because she's still a little miffed about the whole Cas thing, though she isn't sure who she's more pissed at - Dean, Cas, or herself. "Or at least until after we patch Humpty Dumpty back together again."

"Well, he's got Bobby with him," he mumbles, grip tightening on the steering wheel. "That should be enough to get him through Purgatory. By now he might even have Benny. Once he gets back, the worst of it should be done. And it'll be easier taking care of him now than when we were still motel hopping."

It sounds more like wishful thinking than anything else and she's been around long enough to know wishful thinking.

And maybe she's got some of her own, too.

.

"A friggin' vampire!" Sam cringes, but he's more relieved to see Benny than he knows how to show. Not when he's waiting for Lucifer to show up any minute. "Well, you two really went off the rails on this one, didn't you?"

He looks down, feeling uncomfortable. Really, Bobby has _no _idea but he's not in the right state either mentally or bodily to be able to do more than attack or walk even though he wants to. His eyes keep skipping around, looking for monsters or Lucifer or something he doesn't even know the name of yet. "A lot happened," he says before looking up at Benny and thankfully Bobby hasn't asked about the hallucinations yet. Maybe he forgot. Maybe that's why he couldn't see anything down in Hell because he was _there. _"So, Dean sent you?"

They get to walking, though Bobby's eyeing Benny with reasonable suspicion. Attacking's methodical but that and running are making his chest hurt a lot and he keeps hearing things that he can't see but they have to be there because this is Purgatory but maybe they're not at the same time. As they make their way to the portal, Benny explains that it's not actually far away from where the reaper dropped them up along with the spell that'll take all three of them over. He almost asks if his blood will poison the vampire before his distracted mind catches up to him, reminding him that it'd be a soul going through and not a body and -

"Sam!" He pulls himself out of his own head and starts paying attention again, only mildly surprised to find out he's shaking. Bobby's looking at him concerned and okay, there's no way he was imaging that but other things have wings in Purgatory, he thinks. "You hearing me, ya'idjit?"

He feels embarrassed but nods, twitching again and Benny says, "This is the spot."

The portal's there, flashing blue or at least he thinks it is. He isn't entirely sure anymore and glances at Bobby for confirmation. "That it? The seam that gets us back up top?" he asks, nodding in the direction of the flickering light and Sam wonders if he actually needed to ask or if he figured out what was actually going on. It feels like he's been in here forever but it couldn't have been more than forty-eight hours because Dean said time moves the same here as it does on Earth but it does move differently in Hell and he was in there for at least an four hours.

"Yeah," Benny says. "You boys remember what I told you?"

Again, he nods before looking back at the man he's come to think of as a father who he feels like he's about to kill for the third damn time. "All right, Bobby, here we go," he says and begins rolling up his sleeves. "Listen, when we get to Earth and I release you, it's an expressway straight to Heaven. No time for goodbyes."

"Already said goodbye to you once, Sam, didn't seem to stick. No reason to think I won't see you again." They both smile, though his feels strained because he wants to be happy but he's too hyperaware to focus on anything in its entirety. "But if they give me a rocking chair, I'm raising Hell."

Then he cuts his arm with the knife like they've done a thousand times and hands it over the Sam. He slits it once, the blood running down his arm and the sight makes him sick. Meg turned back into a human but why can't he? It's all there, dipping from his skin.

He swallows down nausea and presses their cuts together, saying the spell. Feeling Bobby disappear into his arm is hands down one of the weirdest feelings of his life and he looks at Benny, confused, before he realizes no one had actually laughed. He feels freezing and overheating at the same time. "All right, Benny," he says, "your turn." He holds out the blade, but the vampire doesn't accept it. "Hurry up." He needs out, he needs to get back to his brother and Meg and maybe Cas will be there so he can go back to normal.

"Benny!" He looks to the side at the three people coming closer and he isn't the only one, so he isn't imaging this. "Still working with the Winchesters?"

It takes a lot of self-control not to just run. "Hurry!"

"Time for you to go, Sam." For all of a second he's confused before Benny turns his back on him and he realizes the vampire doesn't want to go back. If possible, this makes him feel even worse. "Go on. It's me they want. Just make sure you tell Dean I said goodbye. I was never very good up there anyway."

"Benny, wait!"

The vampire turns again and he tosses his weapon, hoping this will help at all. He knows he should probably protest more but he needs to get back, so he scrambles for the portal. He just hopes Dean is waiting for him on the other side.

.

Seeing Sam back and safe is about as much of a relief as the _last _time he saw her back in the bathroom that Crowley decided what good enough space for his kitten. Dean's got him wrapped up in his arms, which is probably a good thing because he seems a moment away from falling over.

And, well, it's fucked up even by her stand point but when Dean says, "Purgatory, huh? Real garden spot," she slides in herself, gripping the back of his jacket and pressing her face into his shoulder. He smells like Hell, she realizes with a jolt, like fire and blood all mixed into one. Normally she'd care more about this shit but screw it, she'd slipped into bed with him so she's pretty sure she's allowed to relax when he grabs her right back. His heart's beating irregularly right next to her ear.

Jesus Christ, when was the last time she got a hug?

"So did you finish it?" she asks as she pulls away, pretending she doesn't see the look Dean sends her way.

He shakes his head, eyes flicking up and right and she doubts she's the only one who caught that. His brother asks, "Did you get them out?"

"Only Bobby."

"What?" he says. "I mean, it's fantastic about Bobby but -"

Sam looks down, moves the dirt around with his foot before looking up again. He just looks so lost and confused and all right, maybe she's a little more relieved than she was when he grabbed her back from that bathroom. "He got us out," he says. "He used himself as bait. And I get the feeling that even if that didn't happen, he didn't want to come back, you know? I'm sorry."

Dean presses his lips together. "You know what? You're probably right." Then, after an awkward sort of silence that Meg can't figure out how to break, he adds, "So, how'd Bobby hold up down there?"

Last time she saw Bobby Singer, he'd burned the binding spell she put on Sam's arm back before the boy came along with his puppy dog eyes and a disappeared brother and angel. "He's good," he says, "all things considered. Well, Hell."

"As he should be. Let's put that old man where he belongs."

When he pulls up his sleeve, knife back out, he looks at her and says, "Well, we fucked up."

"How about we save the pity part for later?" she answers. "You know, before you fall over and Dean and I are stuck carrying your sorry ass back to the car."

He smiles before focusing back on his arm, cutting across the part glowing orange. And Meg's never seen an untainted soul before, so when it comes floating out, glowing and white, all she can think is how much it looks like Grace. It twists through the air, lighting up the trees in blues and purples that seem to come from nowhere. Then she tears her eyes away and watches Sam's face, looking momentarily painless and wonders how anyone thought this kid was ever going to give up humanity.

Instead, he gives it back.

"What the hell?"

She focuses back on the soul, sees in caught in darkness. "Crowley," she says, going for the angel blade in her pocket.

"Hello, boys. Whore," comes that infuriating English accent behind them. Then he looks back up at the blotted out soul. "Bobby Singer, I'd know you anywhere."

Again, the two of them are situated so they're in front of her - like they think she needs to be protected or something when dammit, she made it almost two thousand years without them! Human-level weakness or not, that still means something.

Dean says, "Let him go, Crowley. He doesn't belong in Hell."

"He does if I say he does. He's inflicted untold damage on my kind. From where I sit, actually Hell's too good for him." Though she isn't even intending to say anything, he goes back to her anyway. "Don't worry, dear, the moment you die again, you'll go right back where you - Really?"

They get thrown backwards, a feeling she still isn't used to as it's typically the reverse, the boys both smacking into trees while she finds herself pinned to the ground. And she's not scared of course because she doesn't get scared but all she can think is how fucking badly she doesn't want to go to Hell again. Ever since she got her soul back or however this works, she shockingly hasn't done anything horrible and Heaven doesn't sound like paradise either but she'd take that as the better option anyway. Though she can't see anything, she clearly hears Crowley's "Oh, come on!"

And, naturally, this has to be followed by her second least favorite voice when Naomi says, "Let me see if I've interpreted this situation correctly. Sam Winchester has freed an innocent from Hell to which you are wrongly trying to return."

"Siding with them, Naomi?" Breathing is getting harder, the weight on her chest not lightening up. "You don't know those two. Before they're done, we'll both be locked away."

"I'm just hoping they lock you away, dear. The rest I'll figured out."

She tries to look to either side and catch sight of what's going on with the boys, but she in can't. All she can see are the stars and treetops and the light from the soul. "Bureaucrat. You're fighting outside your weight class."

"Don't call me a bureaucrat!"

Suddenly the weight is gone. Sam and Dean tumble from the trees and she stands up, finding Crowley went poof but Naomi still there. She points and the binding is gone, the soul continuing its twisting journey upwards.

_Twisting journey_. Christ, and now she's gone and sounded all poetic like a real life human.

Naomi looks back down at them and smiles. "I told you, you can trust me," she says and disappears. Meg misses being able to see wings and a demon's true face. It made everything a lot easier.

Sam looks first to Dean then to her. "What the hell was that about?"

"Long story," she says at the same time his brother answers, "We'll tell you later. C'mon, let's get this trial over with."

With a nod, Sam pulls a paper from his pocket covered in the Enochian she can somewhat read and rattles it off. The result is instantaneous - he screams and grips his arm, which glows like when he had the soul nestled underneath his skin.

"What, what?" Dean says, putting a hand on his shoulder and she moves forward too, not knowing what to do. "Talk to me!"

And, like an idiot, his brother answers, "It's okay, it's okay." Then the light fades. "It's okay, I'm fine. It's done."

It's sort of a joint effort between the three of them, but they get him back into standing position. His clothes desperately need to be washed and he needs a shower. At least he seems more focused than when he first stumbled out. Dean slips his arm around his shoulders. "Think you can lie in the back, Sammy?" he asks as they start the relatively long walk to the car.

"I'm -"

"Yeah, we heard you the first five times, pumpkin," she says. "Just get in the back and don't complain."

Dean shoots her a look that his brother can't see that she's pretty sure means they're talking to him later. Ten minutes after, they get Sam into the backseat, though it's an uncomfortable fit, and she takes his normal place. "We've got to make a stop at Kevin's, Sam," Dean tells him. "Think you can make it?"

He hides his face with his arms. "Gonna try to sleep," he mumbles, which for him is practically a yes.

Meg leans her head against the window. All she wants to get out of this damn forest and have another night of trying to forget Crowley exists.

It never works.

.

Sometime around midnight, Dean finally manages to get a hold of Cas, who clears up the blood in his lungs, but not enough to take away his fever. Then they proceeded to have an uncomfortable sit down with a half unconscious Sam about whether or not he's seeing Lucifer again (even though the nightmare in the car was a clear enough indication). Now, all that's over and done with, and the other two have squirreled away to go talk about Naomi, and to Meg's surprise he comes to her bedroom.

"Sorry," he says and she returns the favor from the last time, lifting the blankets so he get underneath even though his hair's still damp and it'll make her pillow wet. He's wearing short sleeves and the burn scar is clear. "Normally I'd go to Dean, but I don't feel like walking into something."

She snickers. "Lover boy and his angel."

"They do share a 'profound bond.'"

"That sounds like the title of a romantic comedy."

He laughs and she follows a moment later, louder than they intend. When they quiet, he says, "A socially inept angel and a hard-ass hunter with a heart of gold."

"We'd the only actually funny ones, though."

The bed's small and they're pressed close. His arm is around her waist again. Moments like this make her not care about the insanity the last eight years have been. When he smiles, it isn't happy and she's the poster child for unhappy smiles so she knows. "Yeah," he says, voice sleepy, "the insane ex-blood junkie and the chick who regained a soul in a stolen body. We'd call it _Team Free Will_."

For a moment, she's not entirely sure how to respond to that. Then she asks, "Did something happen with your room down there?"

There's a blatant hesitation before he answers, "I opened the bars to Bobby's cell like it was nothing and I thought - well, you know. I had Lucifer right behind me and I just thought about my bedroom door and - I just thought."

"You know he wasn't there, right? Rogue or not, Cas is still an angel. We'd know if Lucifer was out of the Cage, even if he was stuck to Hell."

He looks away from her, eyes downcast. "That's the thing, Meg. It was really cold which never happens - or, happened anyway - and he kept touching me. What I saw in Purgatory and in the Impala was definitely a hallucination, but I don't think it was in there."

Being around Sam wants her to do crazy, stupid things sometimes like stick pictures to his wall and that one time she made him this soup recipe from her first life she strangely remembered off the top of her head in the middle of the night because he'd been spitting up blood for an hour and Dean was high on pain meds. Even so, she manages to resist the urge to grab his hand, another thing she's pretty sure she remembers from what she likes to think of as Before. A lot of times it feels like she's three people trying to fit together - the daughter of a Fallen Angel whose mother bound down her sorry excuse for wings and was damned simply for existing; a demon who a good one-third of Hell feared; and a modern girl who ironically became human again with her first friend in two thousand years, the boy with the demon blood.

Who she may or may not be attracted to the same way she was to an angel with a love of trench coats who literally Fell for her a second friend who doesn't know she thinks that way and happens to be the first kid's older brother. And yeah, she does in fact realize that becoming human again possible makes her more screwed up than she was before.

"Well, even if that's true, you're here," she tells him, voice so low it's practically a whisper, "in bed with an incredibly attractive female." Finally, that pulls out a real smile. Once again, she can't exactly figure out how she ended up as Sam Winchester's last ditch (until his brother came back) reassurance for sanity. At least she's used to it, she supposes. "And Dean and Cas are right next door. It's just a hallucination and it probably was down there, too."

He nods, still not looking at her. "Hey, Meg?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I ever really said it, but thanks for putting up to me. Even if I was a total dick for you being a demon at first."

Somehow, with his hair shielding his face like that but not fully hiding the puppy dog look, he looks five. "Don't you dare fall in love with me, moose," she says, not sure whether or not she's joking.

He doesn't answer. Instead he looks up and presses his mouth to hers. She doesn't know why, but they'll figure it out tomorrow.

For now she's just going to enjoy it.


End file.
